Year two...and counting

Dad here again. First time in whats felt like a year or so since Ive done this. Nicki asked that I write one for Melanie's birthday, so after a little bit of wincing and negotiation, I thought it might not be such a bad idea.

I went up to Melanie's bed, gave her a kiss goodnight, and.....well, that was it! I came downstairs. I didn't have to go to the parking garage to find where I lost my car, and didn't have to drive home and wonder the whole way home about the health of our baby girl. Didn't have to remove the 'healthy' sticker from my shirt or the orange wristband that labeled me as a dad, and didn't need to worry where to put that white rectangle parking pass so I would remember to take all 30 of them out when I cleaned the car out.

I reflected for a few minutes there about how this little fart (we call her Miss Mellers, or trouble, or various other adjectives that refer to her very strong willed personality) two short years ago surprised us with her special, very nerve racking birth. As I kissed her, for a moment, I reflected on the monitors, the breathing machines, the surgeries, the rooms, the uncertainty, the tears, the smiles, the alarms, the phone calls, the doctors and nurses, the "box" she lived in, the families we got to know, and the unbelievable strength that God brought to us during that time.

As I reflect now, I think about the families who's children didn't survive. There are families that left that hospital completely different than we did, and now, as I reflect, I think about how much having this little fighter in our house is such a true blessing. As parents, we go through the typical rolling of the eyes, the frustration of children not listening, the fighting with siblings, the talking back, and the interruptions during all of our conversations. And for now, all those selfish thoughts went away as I reflect. Some of those parents would beg for the opportunity to 'deal with' the typical parenting complaints that we have, and I never gave it a thought since leaving that hospital til now. Not much explanation, just flat out selfishness on my part. I'd like to say that since I just thought of it, I'll do better. But, just as a small child says 'I'll be good, I'll remember", Jeff and my sinful nature will forget this as early as tomorrow...or maybe even tonight if one of them wakes up crying.

I think about all the memories that this young two year old has given us, and praise God for allowing us to go through those long 76 days in that hospital. I pray it is something that we never forget. I also pray that we take none of our children for granted. Yes Miss Melanie is two, and yes, very much still a fighter. We laugh a lot just looking at her personality and how it didn't change even in the slightest since she has been born. Maybe, she'll be our little fighter forever, and she'll remind us through that strong will, that God has richly blessed us with the birth of that 3rd daughter.

And looking at her now, God in His sovereign will, has chosen to have no lasting effects on Melanie, other than maybe her inability to cry or laugh really hard (We wonder if that is because of the tubes she had down in her throat for so long). This, however, doesn't bother us too bad, especially when she cries. I find myself chuckling at times when she gets really mad and her cries aren't any louder than her talk.

But now, all I can think is this:
Melanie....you are two, and someday, maybe you'll know what stress you put on your parents when you decided to come out 14 weeks premature. Someday you'll understand how amazing the lung surgery that the doctors 'tried' was. Someday, you'll understand how that heart surgery was so scary for mom and dad. Someday, you'll know how so many people checked this very website, often several times a day, to get an update on a baby they had never met. And someday, maybe, you'll sit in awe in front of a computer, just like your daddy is, and marvel at how powerful a God we serve. It was only through His grace that you are with us today. And daddy, will try to not take for granted all the blessings that you and your sisters have brought to your mom and my life. I pray that God will continue to keep you in the palm of His hand from now to eternity, just as He did those first handful of scary days of your life. Mom and Dad pray that you too, don't take your life for granted, just as we shouldn't do so with our own. God places each and every one of us on this earth to praise Him in what we say and do, in whatever calling He gives to us. You are a beautiful child and HAPPY 2nd BIRTHDAY!!

Love Dad