4 Years Ago

Four years ago this morning our lives were drastically changed....for a time. Little Melanie Grace entered this world unexpectedly; 14 weeks early.  I was in total shock, along with our family and friends. Those first hours and days are still a blur to me.  Every once in awhile something will trigger a memory from those early days in the hospital.  For example; Red j-jello in a tiny cup (all I could eat while anxiously laying in bed praying the contractions would stop), a hospital room bathroom (where in shear terror I cried out to God that our baby would be okay and humbly realized that there was nothing I could do-EVERYTHING was in the hands of our Almighty God), a long-sloped hallway (the LONG ride to and from our baby girl in the NICU which left many minutes for prayer). An aluminum 9x9 dish (the many, many, many dishes of food our friends and family made for us to ease the necessities of our lives). The noise air makes as it blows bubbles into water brings me back to nursery 1 in the NICU; that is the noise the CPAP machine makes that allows for so many babies to breath when they cannot breath on their own. These are just a small few of the things that send me back to that trying time 4 years ago.

After re-reading some posts from that time in our lives I can truly say with all of my heart that our great and wonderful God carried us through, just like he is carrying us through every day no matter the trial or the joy.  That day 4 years ago is no different then today.  Our God gave us Melanie a bit early on that day. He also gave us a wonderful hospital with amazing doctors and nurses.  He gave me a courageous and godly husband that lead us through one of our most difficult times. He gave us the blessings of friends and family that would help, encourage, and most importantly pray for us. He gave us the physical and mental strength, although some days I felt I could have used a little more, to make it through each day. He sustained our baby girl and grew her into the beautiful, energetic, and funny little peanut she is today.

Just like I saw the presence of God during that time. I can see the presence of God here today, and in yesterday, and in Monday.  I think it is easier to lean on God during the hard times because we know he is the only one in control and the only one that can change things so I begged and pleaded for the will of God to match mine.  During the everyday hustle and bustle of life, I tend to think I can control things more. That is such wrong thinking.  Every day, every minute, every event is in the will of God and I need to remember that.  I need to be thankful for all of those events, minutes, and days; and not always looking to the future,but finding joy and peace in each and every moment I've been given.    

Reviewing the blog of our life 4 years ago was a really good eye-opener for me.  I need to depend on God today just like I did during those days.  Thankful for the good days AND thankful for the hard days; knowing that each day is a blessing from Him.