So this mama was having a big ol' pity party for herself the last couple of days. Well, it's time for that to be done. I have been stressing out over many things and as a result have been struggling in all of those areas. Right away I think about the negative and not the positive (one of my downfalls). For example, Jayden has really started to communicate lately. Not necessarily in the correct way, but she is trying so hard to tell me things (and to tell her sister things). My focus has been on how much fighting the girls have been doing and how hard it is for me to talk to anyone but Jayden. Instead, I should be thrilled that our little girl is trying to tell us what's going on. I have been stressing about little Melanie coming home soon. There is so much to get ready and I don't feel confident in myself to do all of her care yet. Instead, I should be thrilled and excited that she's coming home soon. There are so many mommys in the NICU that would LOVE to have their babies home right now no matter how much extra work it requires. I would love to be able to sit with my moms, sisters, and friends and be able to talk without interruptions. Instead of seeing those little girls as interruptions I need to be oh so thankful they are home, healthy, and able to interrupt. I feel like I'm failing as a wife, as a mom, and as a friend. However, if I keep telling myself I'm a failure, then it won't get better. No more pity party for this momma.
So what brought around this change one might ask????? PERSPECTIVE!! On the way home from the hospital this afternoon I heard there was a mother of 3 that was killed in a car accident today. WOW!! After hanging up the phone the tears fell like rain! How could I be so selfish and be complaining about my situation when there is a family that no longer has a wife, mom, daughter, and sister. My heart goes out that family. I have no idea what they are going through right now, but my prayers are with them. Perspective. When I'm feeling down, all I have to do is look around me and see all those that are hurting.
I heard this song on the radio while I was wiping my tears. Perfect timing! I wish I knew how to make it play on this webpage...sorry!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4AAALBo2DKs
Ecclesiastes 3
To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace....
He hath made every thing beautiful in his time: also he hath set the world in their heart, so that no man can find out the work that God maketh from the beginning to the end.
13 hours ago
7 comments:
Well said in everything give thanks
grandpa from Iowa
The mother of 3 who died today was a member at Grace PRC. Her children go to Covenant and to Hope School. Please keep them in your thots and prayers. thot you would like to know this info...Audrey Starrett
*hugs*
You are a great person and I am very happy to have someone like you in my life. I know you will handle everything well, and make it look effortlessly.
My heart and prayers also goes out to the family that lost their mom today.
Not selfish or faultering in any way, Nicki...just human and overwhelmed. How could you not be?Thankfully you can verbalize your feelings. You won't always feel like 100%, and you don't have to. I am amazed that you and your husband have been blessed with such grace.
Much love to you,
The LeFaive's
Nicki,
That has been the verse that has always seen me through. I guess no matter what I just have always thought for every time and season under heaven. He has the power and He protects us through it if we trust in Him. Footprints in the sand has always helped me too. " and when I asked were did you go when I only saw one set of footprints, he replied I never left you for when you only saw one set of footprints it was then that I carried you. As far as not being prepared. I freaked with Brady coming home too. Get with the nurses you trust the most and ask every little question you have. Think about WHY you feel scared. If you can work to the point of knowing exactly why your scared it is easier to find a way to feel at ease. If you need to talk just call or e-mail. I think Jeff got that info from me. I have tried to look you up on Facebook but haven't found you guys. Stay strong
Thank you for the lesson in perspective for me too. Happy New Year, Westra Family. We love you.
The Marcusse Family
So much to think about so much to do. Don't kid yourself Nicki, you are a great mom, wife, daughter and sister. It all seems like alot right now. Sisters do fight, I'm sure you remember, but when it's your own kids it's alittle different. Oh, do we know. It's all part of life, they are growing up finding their way.
I'm sure there is alot to think of as you are getting ready for Melanie to come home. Please if there is anyway we can help, just give us a call. With anything. I know one way, we will be praying for you, Jeff and the girls, for a smooth transition when time comes and patients with the Jaden and Miya. Hang in there!!
Jodi
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