Humbled again

Just taking a break from holding Melanie...I got to put Miya and Jayden to bed tonite, and then, it was off to the hospital. Looking at Nickis post, its true, I cant think of anything more relaxing and amazing than looking in the eyes of a child while they lay on me. I have to laugh because Miya and Jayden dont typically lay on their dad like Melanie does, unless they feel so rotten, they just want to be held...Most of those times, I dont mind.

However, when sitting in a chair for two hours, having forgotten a book, there isnt much to look at in a NICU room unless you're into looking at monitors....and even the games you make up with those monitors get old real quick....so it gives a dad a lot of time to think. What I wanted to do tonite, is to tell you of a few happenings over the past 2 days that have really humbled us again.

Let me start with something that has been almost a commonality over the last month. The spirit of giving to one premature baby and her family has been, simply put, nearly overwhelming...in a good way. From gas cards to gift cards, meal cards to baby blankets, yard work to 'thinking of you and praying for you' cards, meals to house cleaning, baby sitting to hotel stays, money to baby clothes, hugs to emails of support, and most importantly....prayers. To see a town, a community, a network of friends, co workers, total strangers, acquaintances, business partners, and the latest...a church family come together helping out in countless ways; all so unselfish, so giving, so amazing, that a man who can sometimes be a motor mouth (myself), remains....speechless. Only the words 'thank you' can be uttered...anything else would be a waste.

Some of my family was out for the Thanksgiving holiday, and they were shocked at the amount of cards we have on our kitchen counter top. Below is a picture of the latest work coming from our church family....and this picture doesnt do justice....some ladies put together a 'grocery drive' at church for us, which we were totally surprised at. Not only did we receive months worth of groceries (2 items were 14 boxes of macaroni and cheese, and 10 boxes of cereal :), but there was also more grocery gift cards, and what nearly brought me to my knees, was money donated to fill our propane tank, which will probably take care of our heating needs in our house for the winter. Thankfully, only a camera was there and not a video camera, or you would have seen a lot of tears.

Here is the latest picture:


To all of you....you are amazing people...our news and media likes to 'spice things up' by announcing the terrible things that go on in our country. What you all are doing for us, the media wouldnt know what to do with. God is truly good, and we thank Him daily for all of you and what you are doing for us....again, I say, 'Thank you'.





The second thing that I was truly humbled by today was more than words can describe. Last night, an infant from our 'neighborhood' died after being admitted to nursery 1 on Sunday morning. I never got a chance to meet this childs parents, nor did I find out the name due to rules the hospital has, so the nurses cant tell us anything. I stared at Miss Melanie tonite for a while and just thought about this family who must truly be hurting right now. What I do know (not from nurses) is that this mother was in a car accident, and her baby had to come out at 24 weeks. All I know beyond that, is when I arrived at the hospital this morning, the bed was empty. I started thinking about how this mother, who never made it down to the NICU to see her baby because she spent so much time in surgery, must feel. She didnt recouperate fast enough to see her baby alive....I thought of the empty car seat, the empty crib, the excitement of soon hearing a baby crying, and not being able to experience it. The possible name picked, the baby showers planned, the cute baby clothes purchased, but most importantly, the pure excitement of expecting a baby as a parent, and having to hear the words...."your baby didnt make it".

I have no idea how this must feel....some of you do....and again, I remain speechless. Thankfully we have the Word of God to provide comfort, because anything less, to me, seems like empty words. I sat looking at Melanie tonite thinking that could have been us. We could have gone home empty, or maybe, God could have taken both my wife and my daughter home to Him. Melanie's birth was serious enough, that without His guiding hand through the technology that we have now, it could have happened. I thought about how painful the tears have been for us at times, and tried to even begin to relate to those parents who have lost children, and I sit in awe of the power of God.

For now, it wasnt time for the Westra's to lose a family member. And maybe as you read this, its not your turn to lose a family member either. But one thing we do know: we wont make it through this journey called life alive. And I know for myself, I dont make the most out of each day that God gives me. I waste time, at times. I do non productive things, at times. I take for granted the time God gives to me and the ones I love a lot. Maybe I had to see this empty bed this morning to remind me of that...and when I have to walk past this same empty bed two more times tonite to say goodnight to Melanie, it will remind me that we are here on earth, only for a 'moment', whether that be 2 days like this baby, or 100 + years like some do. Let this be a reminder to all of us that God is in control....thankfully, and that we must strive to not take our blessings for granted.

Deuteronomy 31:6
"Be strong and of a good courage, fear not, nor be afraid of them: for the LORD thy God, he it is that doth go with thee; he will not fail thee, nor forsake thee."