Day Three...Emotional rollercoaster begins

Dads turn again. Just sitting here listening to Kyles football game, eating a bowl of cereal from my favorite nurse on this floor. Im not going to run down anyone here, we'll just say everyone is allowed a few mess ups...you dont learn a lot unless you fail here and there, just not excited they had to screw up taking care of my wife.

Anyway, enough sobbing about that, we got to see a glimpse of some ups and downs we're going to go through as time goes on. We started out the day very excited because Melanie got to get rid of her ventilator. She also started to be fed milk. The morning and early afternoon was really going great! We were very excited.

Then....the rest of the story. Just before Grandpa and Grandma Westra left tonite, they had to undo the C PAP (I believe thats what its called. I dont have a very good idea what it does, we'll just call it a big improvement from the ventilator) and put her partially on the ventilator. It was supposed to be a mix of the two. Then, when I got back from the airport, we went downstairs with a few friends, and the nurse had a bit of a sad look on her face. She was supposed to leave at 7, but it was really close to 8. She said her oxygen levels had dropped dramatically, her breathing had dropped, and everything that had improved throughout the day had totally reversed. They had to put the ventilator back in completely (no in between), however it is through her nose now. When they put that in, her feeding tube came out, so they had to put that back in. After that, she puked up everything that was in her stomach, so we couldnt tell if she had eaten anything tonight. So...back to where we were at yesterday (HEY KYLE!!!!!!!!!! NICE JOB KEEPING YOUR HANDS UP AND KNOCKING DOWN THAT PASS WITH ROUGHLY 2 MINUTES LEFT) sorry, where was I.
So tonite was a little different. Nicki got to do the Care Time tonight. She was great. Melanie however, was not a great fan of her nurse tonite....and she scared her mom and dad! Let me just tell you a few things that I am not a fan of that happened. So the nurse was sucking out mucus, and she didnt like it. So the first thing she decided was..."Im angry, so Im gonna do what any premature baby my age would do, and that is stop my heart from beating...for a bit". Simple logic would tell you that this child didnt like that so we probably shouldnt do that again....However, the nurse decided to test insanity..and..did it again. Result? Minor differences, like the heart stopping, oxygen levels tanking, and blood pressure going down to bad levels...and a mother in tears. So...after the bagger thingy came out to get her going again, Im thinking to myself, she cant possibly be thinking of doing that again...How many times does someone need to see a near death experience to know this isnt working...APPARANTLEY 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YES, THERE IS A NURSE DOWNSTAIRS THAT I AM NOT A FAN OF NOW. HELLO!!!!!! MY KID HATES WHAT YOU ARE DOING TO HER!!!!!!!! STOP IT!!!! yeah, she did it again...same result.

Anyway, enough of that story. The night ended in a lot of tears, but it made us much more aware of our surroundings. It made me ask questions of our neighbors in our 8 child cul-de-sack. What I found, is that even though we go through this trial, many people have it much worse and we need to count our blessings. For instance, our friends Brady and Paige across the street (5 steps across the isle, one to our right, and one to our left) are twins born at 1#6 oz and 1#10 oz were put on a much more intense machine than a ventilator. It literally shook their bodies trying to make them breath 100 breaths per minute. And then, there is little Levi, just to the north of us (5 steps toward the back of the room) had 2 other siblings that didnt make it. Hes the only survivor of 3 and hes had a lot of struggles. He was on the ventilator for at least a month before he got on C PAP. Then, there are the new babies that continue to find their way downstairs...a new mom with tears in her eyes wondering 'what just happened'? One minute I was pregnant, and the next minute Im having a child way to early. Lots of tears in this floor, but a lot of new freindships being made...everyone their own circumstance...everyone knowing the shear terror the other has been going through. We know we're a long ways from being in the clear, but we also know that this hospital has all but mastered what they do with their infants. A great amount of peace again sits over me tonite knowing God is in control...Have a good night, and thanks for the prayers. Cya tomorrow.