Hope...in helplessness

I take you back in history, to a date...that all who lived through it...will never forget. September 11, 2001 was a day that we almost all remember where we were when we heard the news...we remember the emotions...the questions....the lump in our throats that didnt go away....

I write you today, following a days work, as the father of baby Melanie with this same lump...only its even more personal. I remember the questions on that day "who are these people flying these planes?"..."what do they want from us?"..."where are they coming from?"..what did the people in these buildings do to deserve this?"..."why the U.S.?"..."what can I do to help, can I drive over there?"..."can I give these people something?"..."what would I do when I got there?"..."if I ever see one of these people involved with this...I dont know what I'd do, but it wouldnt be pretty"...."I FEEL SO HELPLESS!!"

And today, I fastforward you to November 16, 2009...I'll share you my thoughts to parallel whats going on with Melanie, but please read all the way to the bottom, Im not really complaining. "where is all this bacterial coming from thats giving her this pneomonia to add to her other problems, as if breathing wasnt hard enough for her?"..."why did she get this spot on her lung?"..."why was she born so early?"..."why doesnt her heart valve close?"..."what can I do to help her?"..."why, even when Im at her bedside do I feel so far away?"..."why Melanie, what did she do to deserve this?"..."how can I take her pain away?"..."why cant things just go back to normal?"..."why cant she just get better and we let her come home and fight with her sisters?"..."if I find whats doing this, its not gonna be pretty"..."I FEEL SO HELPLESS!!"

All these questions, and only one place to go for the answers. Yes, its true, Melanie is having a very rough day, and yes, its true that we feel just as helpless as all of you reading this who feel wayyyyy too far away, and yes, its true, our hope lies in only one place.

I take you back again to 9/11...where did we find hope on that day? Did our president's speech make us feel better? Dont know about you, but I saw helplessness in his eyes as well, and he didnt make me feel better.(Its Ok, Obama is changing and fixing everything...HA!!!...sorry) Did we feel better seeing those fighter jets flying around? Nope, we didnt even know where these people were coming from...Did we feel all better talking to family about it? In a way, but there wasnt complete peace following those conversations...Did we feel better when all the security was stepped up? Nope....Did those families who lost loved ones feel better the next day when it was all done....No.

And we dont feel complete peace by listening to doctors reports, and we cant make Melanie feel better by kissing her, and we cant say that she will get all better and firmly believe it, and we cant tell her that its ok, everything will be alright.....and dad cant tell her that he will take care of her, because he cant right now...

My only hope as a father, and our families only hope as a family, and your only hope as you read this, comes from one place....Thank you mom Westra, for telling me this today, even when I didnt want to hear it...but I do see it, even though it is tough at times...A great passage to continuosly learn from comes from the Heidelberg Catechism, question and answer #1

Question 1. What is thy only comfort in life and death?
Answer: That I with body and soul, both in life and death, am not my own, but belong unto my faithful Saviour Jesus Christ; who, with his precious blood, has fully satisfied for all my sins, and delivered me from all the power of the devil; and so preserves me that without the will of my heavenly Father, not a hair can fall from my head; yea, that all things must be subservient to my salvation, and therefore, by his Holy Spirit, He also assures me of eternal life, and makes me sincerely willing and ready, henceforth, to live unto him.

What a great comfort...

Thankfully, Im not in charge, and thankfully, baby Melanie is being held today, and everyday, not by her mom and dad, but by the only One who can truly protect and heal her...and thankfully, we have that peace.

As promised, here are some pictures of the beautiful baby girl that God has blessed us with. No CPAP, hair, good looking nose, the machines and monitors, the bed, her living space, all which serve a purpose...a purpose of glory to God...























Thank you again for all your prayers